Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
