I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
