So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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