how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
