did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
