no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize