Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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