new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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