This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
