i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
