What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
