this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
