I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
