I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
