You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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