I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
