dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
