i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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