Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
handjob tips. give me some.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
