I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
