Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
