My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
