my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
