alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
