don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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