Already got asked if we're dating
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
