Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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