it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
