how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize