haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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