i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
