I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize