think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
