Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
