Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
