'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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