I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
