Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
