Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
