I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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