1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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