I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
