i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
