Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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