Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
