I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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