You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
