So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We are two peas in an std pod
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Randomize
