wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
