Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
