Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
