I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
