Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
