Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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