hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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