Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
