I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I need to calm my uterus...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize