Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
