fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
