dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
