Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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