I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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