he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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