apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
