She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing