i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend