he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.