nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
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Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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