Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
