peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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