i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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