hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
