I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
