problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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