You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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