brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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