After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize