I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
